(1) Find a long-suffering friend who lives in a massive apartment complex who will let you commandeer his Netflix and sleep on his pull out.
(2) Discriminately collect items from the area that says DO NOT LEAVE HOUSEWARES HERE in the apartment parking garage, feel as though you are doing a good deed because should the items be traced the tenant would be severely fined. These collected items should include a lampshade sans lamp, some granny style dishes, a large mirror and a rather stylish modernist wooden tray you will use in your bedroom for morning tea and feel classy about.
(3) Spend far too long examining Ikea website pictures in an attempt to discern what is stylish and worthwhile and what going to result in ill-fitted pressboard sadness. Email virtual shopping lists to yourself, feel Martha Stewart circa 2001 levels of productivity.
(4) Laugh uproariously at what people believe their used furniture “with just a tiny rip” is worth on Craigslist and Kijiji. Caution self at using ‘great resale value’ as a reason to blow furniture budget. Wonder at how it is possible that everyone has used whatever item for only “six/nine/two” months before listing it or whether they are toying with you.
(4)(a) Realize the people with the best stuff are sometimes giving it away free on the internet. Get high end kitchen table with an unnoticeable chip for free from expensive suburb.
(4)(b) Obsessively stalk free listings until you are sucked in to picking up something, perhaps an analog television set, that inevitably seems like it was a poor choice.
(5) Rediscover the Dollar Store varieties, abandon previous principles regarding not supporting certain international trade forms with glee, gradually become snobby about which Dollar Store is superior due to selection and good value. Similarly, begin to rank various Winners outlets in your head. Compare things such as Winners pricing on bamboo cutting boards with dollar store pricing on bamboo cutting boards. Feel victorious while purchasing a $1 cheese grater from Wal-mart, dismayed on discovering they were selling three forks for one dollar instead of $1.25.
(5)(a) Refuse to let your significant other purchase small teaspoons because normal teaspoons suffice. Relent.
(6) Have your long-suffering friend over for drinks, preferably from your over sized duty free supply, offer a folding chair as finding a couch has proven incredibly annoying, allow long-suffering friend to have a couple of drinks and lay on the floor. Feel moderate discomfort/sofa envy.
(6)(a) Finally locate the perfect sofa, way outside initial couch budgets yet massively on sale, determine it will be available only in a month to six weeks. Lay on the floor, less discomfort.
(7) Slowly put all of your things in the ample apartment storage space, so much space that you do not need a dresser or wardrobe and can put your California Closet fantasies to rest. Lay on your low range mattress, resting on it’s prefab bed frame, and feel peaceful. You have nested, this is home.